Anachronism
by Pikochu
Summary: Utatane Piko isn't your average softie. See through this white-haired boy's skeptical eyes of what the Vocaloids are: a must-be-loved perfectionist, a social-networking sociopath, a blue-haired Linus and more. Is this what his idols really are? R&R!


I feel my body materializing as I am being installed. Finally, I'm free. After series of trials, they make me a significant program. Not an UTAUloid or a minor demo of amateur handling. None of what I had feared before. Today, I am finally a Vocaloid.

.

.

.

While I was being created, they included the countless gloriousness of actual Vocaloids singing in radiant, clear tones. To me, they all made up the spectrum of heavenly voices. However I had never seen their faces for the company thought it would be best to leave it as a surprise.

How I have waited for so long to see them, but today I will see the wondrous owners of those voices. I wonder how are the Vocaloids are. I wonder about their personalities, what their interests are, and even what songs they like to sing. To my curiosity, my creators thought it would be humorous to add a special kink to me. Once again, they never mentioned that certain flaw...

It bothers me. Well, it bothers me a little. Wait- let me rephrase that. The fact that I do not know my flaw slightly bothers me, but I am much more excited to meet my fellow mates than to get paranoid. I shall see the mastermind creations of the Vocaloids. I can already feel my limbs. All I need is my sight. What if they are not who they are? I quietly laugh at the prosperous idea of mine. Of course the Vocaloids are who they are. They are the greatest creation built by man.

Soft sea-green eyes opened to stare at them who stand before me.

.

_Finally, I am free._

_._

_How I have waited for so long to see them._

_._

_What if they are not who they are?_

_._

_They are the greatest creations built by man..._

_._

_They look... _My brain scattered to wreck as it struggles to comprehend their taste for wearing gaudy clothing and their eccentric hair. _Clean. _Perhaps I spoke too soon about their appearances. I instantly noticed the young blue-haired male dragging a long handkerchief, the blond adolescent twins that clearly look like they perform incest for fan-service, and a flirty purple-haired bishonen in a kimono (probably paired with every male.) Yes, what a great impression they present to me. I already despise the scantily-dressed brunette and pink-haired woman. _Harlots, _I add thoughtfully. _Harla-har-har-harlots!_ What a proper way to address their abnormal busts and anorexic tiny waists as seen in One Piece.

A girl with the long, aqua pigtails is first to break the silence. "Welcome, Utatane Piko-chan", she explains in the most irritating female voice I have ever heard (after all I was just installed about two minutes ago.) "_My_ name is Hatsune Miku and this is-"

I twitch. Not from the piercing pain of a filling after hearing her overly-stale-bubblegum-sweet tone. It takes more than the prepubescent-pitched voice of teenage girl to make me and my fillings shake for I can sing as higher than her if I want to. I twitch because of what she said. Did she really just say Piko-_**chan**_? I ponder warily as she lists all the other Vocaloids and UTAUloids whose names I will forget eventually.

"So you're welcome to stay with us and you know you can always come to _me_ when you have a question, right?" Miku emphasizes. A self-centered overachiever is what she is.I try not to laugh as she is still bragging about her many accomplishments since 2007. She is also an extremely insecure girl whom must be liked by others. I remember those types of people that just cannot accept the fact that someone does not like them. How sad. They tick me off.

To interrupt the boastful moment of Miku, one of the Kagemines butts in. "We're so grateful to finally meet you!" the female blond twin chirps brightly. "We have listened to your demos and you sound great!" A noisy girl she is... maybe I'll manipulate chatty and her twin to trade rooms later.

I put on the most fake sincere smile I can ever force upon myself. How my cheeks felt like cracking from stretching my face so voluntarily. I softly reply, "Thank you. I do my best to sing within my capabilities." What a way to deceive them with a face so demure!

"But I'm serious! I practically twittered about ALL your released demos that it out-twittered Miley Cyrus! I also made hundreds of HTML codes of you on MySpace while sending HUNDREDS of Youtube links of your videos to ALL my friends on Facebook! And by the way, a lot of people on Crunchyroll were complaining about your feminine voice and one of those people was my uber ex-BFF so I told my new BFF who is part of the new administration of the forum to chat ban her for a week and she was so mad that-" Rin continuously rants.

I take back what I said.I mentally shake my head with disapproval for she is worse than a chatterbox. She is a social-networking sociopath! Moreover, I somehow I pity her younger twin brother. He did not speak at all and never seems to get a chance to have a say. His loudmouth of a sister quickly asks me, "Do you know about your voice source?" She shoves a paper in front of my face before I get a chance to reply.

Carefully examining the photo of my provider, I question Rin for her reason of asking.

"Because, I just want to know your thoughts so I can fill out my blog!" she already is scribbling crazily into her notepad. "What is one word you can describe Piko?"

"Hot," I answer without wasting a moment to think. Why do I have a bad feeling about my response?

As an answered prayer, the other Vocaloids snicker as Rin copies my exact words. Why do they laugh?

"Okay, now the fans will have a better idea of who you are!" she giggles and kisses the brilliant words of her notes. To this I tilt my head. I still have that bad feeling growing and gnawing me. "You're the closet yaoi-loving Vocaloid with a face prettier than Luka!" Now I will know that awful feeling that has been devouring me. It is feeling the glare of the easily jealous Megurine Luka piercing through my back as I stand there numbly of my new dub. Thank you, Sony Music Distribution!

The blue-haired fellow with dragging around the rag he calls his muffler mumbles, "By the way, I baked you a cake for your first birthday." Somehow he magically made a cake appear from behind his back. A strange odor fills my nostrils, causing me to flinch and withdraw from the cake.

"Is there something wrong with it?" the brunette named Meiko questions. How I loathe her and her crop top.

"Why does the icing smell funny?" I ask. The scent is definitely familiar, but why on a birthday cake?

She snorts as if the answer is obvious or rather like a boar, "'Cause I added alcohol in the icing." At the same time, Kaito trips on his so-call "scarf", which causes him to fall flat on his face and the cake to drop on the floor. Oh happy birthday to me! I _love_ eating cake off the floor.

"What kind of cake was that?" I inquire indifferently.

The blueberry fool replies, "Ice cream cake."

Figures, a closet fatty as him would make an ice cream cake. This day is going exactly as how I pictured it. I get an ice cream cake that dropped on the floor and yet, I am lactose-intolerant. Kudos, guys. I feel right at home.

**Author's rant: **Thank you for reading my first fanfic! I will update as soon as I can!


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